Five years ago my husband and I decided to adopt a child from Russia. We know lots of adopted kids; my five-year-old son Jacob’s best friend is adopted as is his little sister. Our playgroup contains any number of adopted or foster children and we have several grown-up friends who are adoptees. Even our regular babysitter is adopted. For Jacob, then four, this was just another way to add to our family. The thought of a ready-made little brother or sister was helping all of us, perhaps especially Jacob, heal from the late-term miscarriage we’d suffered that winter. He was excited.

What Jacob didn’t completely understand was why Mommy and Daddy had to go away for so long to get a sibling. It usually takes two trips to Russia to adopt, each trip a week, if not longer, and children Jacob’s age don’t usually accompany their parents. He was happy to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a couple of weeks (he’s spent so much time at my mom’s B&B, the Rosemary House, that he now announces to the guests that he works there) but he’d never been apart from us that long before. I wanted to explain to him what it would be like for his father and me to travel to meet our new son, so I turned to our nightly ritual of story time to help show him what our journey would be like.

Mishka: An Adoption Tale, is a book I wrote specifically for adopted children, siblings of adopted children, and any child curious about the adoption process. Mishka tells the story of Mo, a teddy bear who lives on the shelf of an airport bookshop. Mo sees families coming in and out of the bookshop and longs for one of his own. Then one day, a man and a woman come into the store and they buy him! But instead of taking him home, they take him on an airplane and they fly for many hours. Once they land, they take Mo to a strange building and give him as a gift to a little boy, Yuri. They play with Mo and Yuri, but then they leave. Will they ever come back? Will they be a family? Through Mo’s eyes, children can feel some of what adopted children feel and they can see the process of Russian adoption as well. It’s a reassuring tale of a teddy bear (in Russian, a mishka) that finds a family of his own.

Seeds of Love, written by Mary E. Petertyl and illustrated by Jill Chambers, is the story of a little girl whose parents are traveling to an unnamed country, probably China, to adopt a new baby. The little girl in the story is confused about why her parents must go so far away to get a baby, and she’s anxious about staying with her grandmother. After all, her grandmother doesn’t know to cut the crusts off her toast and to turn her nightlight when she goes to bed. Her mother assures her that her grandma will know what to do, and presents the little girl with a pot of dirt in which she puts a couple of seeds. She instructs her daughter to water the pot every day they are apart. When the seeds start to sprout, that’s when the girl will know her parents are coming home. As a picture book, neither the artwork nor the text of Seeds of Love are very impressive, but I would still suggest it as an important companion for any child whose parents are adopting a sibling internationally. The messages in this book, that adopting overseas is a recognized way of adding to your family and, when it does happen, that Mommy and Daddy will come back to you, are crucial for the child left behind to hear. This book is currently out of print, but if you find a copy it’s worth keeping.

Over the Moon, written and illustrated by Karen Katz (one of my favorites) is the story of a couple anxiously awaiting the arrival of their new baby. Everyone gets in on the anticipation: Grandma, the fruit seller, and the little girl from next-door all ask when the baby is coming. “Soon,” the parents answer, and then they get the call! The baby has been born in a far-away land, full of flowers and palm trees and birds, reachable “over the moon and through the night.” Once they get the baby they are nervous as they’ve never cared for an infant, but before they know it they’ve spent their first day as a family and are looking forward to the next. Illustrated in Katz’s brilliant and funky style, I highly recommend Over the Moon for families formed by international adoption, even those children who, like my younger son, were not adopted from a tropical location. She captures that anticipatory, excited feeling of waiting for “the call,” perfectly.

Finally, I Love You Like Crazy Cakes, written by Rose Lewis and illustrated by Jane Dyer, tells the story of a single woman adopting a little girl from China. Both the narrative and the pictures are simple, but powerful, and even now, after reading it fifty times, I still tear up when the mother first meets her new daughter. Like Over the Moon, there is no sibling in this book, but the first time I read it to my son the value in reading him this story became clear: it carefully and completely illustrates the process of falling in love with the new child. This is something my son missed by remaining at home, but through reading this book he can get a taste of what it was like for us.

November is National Adoption Month, a fact I know well as the author of two children’s books about adoption. Because of that, I’ll be spending lots of time this month reviewing my favorite adoption books for children.

Adoption books are kind of funny: a few are really great, but most are really didactic and spend a lot of energy trying to make the adopted child feel ok about being adopted. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, but the children’s books about adoption that are also children’s literature are few and far between. Many of them are low on plot and high on sentiment. Or rather, the plot is the sentiment.

What really great books about adoption manage to accomplish is to be a great little book for children first, and a book about adoption second. The adoption stuff is almost after the fact. It can be the main point of the book, and often is, but the book doesn’t scream: Hello! I’m an adoption book!

A good example of what I’m talking about is A Mother for Choco, by Keiko Kaska. In the book, Choco is a cute yellow bird in search of a mother. (Sound familiar? It should…this is the exact same premise of the book I learned to read by reading it over and over to my mother when I was 4: Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman. More on that book below**).

Choco looks and looks for a mother. He asks a series of creatures if they’re his mother but they all laugh at him. Yes, the giraffe is yellow, but it’s far too tall to be his mother. Mrs. Penguin is approximately the right shape and size, but she doesn’t have stripey feet like Choco does. Choco is sad! No one will be his mother. But then he meets Mrs. Bear, who looks nothing like Choco but has the one element that all mothers have in common: love

Awww.

A perfect book for all adoptees, but particularly transracial adoptees, A Mother for Choco is that rare adoption book that, in addition to being a great read for adopted children, is a great read for all children.

——

**Okay, back to Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman. As I admitted, I learned to read with this book, and I readily admit it is a classic early great 1st reader…but if you really think about it, it’s a fairly cruel tale with two basic morals to it: first, don’t leave home, or else, and second, if you think anyone who doesn’t look exactly like you could possibly be your mother, you’re a nutball. The first lesson I can live with, the second I can’t.

When my children want to make me cry they bring me our copy of The Sea Chest, by Toni Buzzeo. I think it’s partially because I still want a little girl after my two boys, or maybe it’s because my youngest son is adopted (and the story in the book is about adoption), but it’s mostly because it’s a beautiful book that thoughtfully and sweetly tells the story of a family who doesn’t know they need a daughter…until they find her

To learn more about The Sea Chest, read this interview of Toni Buzzeo.